Pretty Much It..

You don't know about my past
& I don't have a future figured out
& maybe this is going too fast
& maybe it's not meant to last

but what do you say to taking chances?

Thanks, I Needed This

Wherever you are is always the right place. There is never a need to fix anything, to hitch up the bootstraps of the soul and start at some higher place. Start right where you are.

Julia Cameron

3 Questions & Some Answers..

A good friend once shared some insight about how to tell if you're content. It can be gauged by 3 questions.

Do you love what you're doing?
Do you love where you're at?
Do you love who you're with?

If you can answer "Yes" to two out of the three questions, then in general, you're a little more than content with your life.
It's high-stress time for me right now and it makes me think about these things.

I love what I am doing. I love my internship and the little, humbling part I play in the organization. It brings perspective into why I do what I do and why I want to do it. It brings me outside of myself and into the world. But I don't just love the work that I do. I also love what I am doing for myself and the plans I am working hard to make happen. So I love that all the things I am doing brings some balance between what I want to do and what it is I am meant to do.

I am learning to love where I am at. When I first visited Washington DC, I was 13 and it was such an exciting time for me! I was learning the in's and out's of the political buzz. I did another stint in DC when I was 20. That time, I was learning about why American's hate politics. I am back here at 22. This time, I'm learning to love living here, making a life for myself here. I think DC is one learning process at a time for me. Love doesn't always come as easily as we'd like for it. So sometimes, we have to learn these things.

Who I am with.. I suppose this is where it gets tricky. Let me start with this: I am so, very blessed to have family and friends on all sides of the world to be the support system I need and more. Whether they are a 350-mile to an upward 6,000-mile phone call away, I can always count on someone to pick up. But the real question here is, "Do you love who you are with?" As in, physically, alongside, in company of. I try my best to not confuse being alone with loneliness. For the most part, I am good about it. But it does get confusing when you are in desperate need of a hug, a real shoulder to cry on, someone to bake you cupcakes, someone to enjoy gin or vodka tonics with, or someone to not have to worry about awkward silences with.

I suppose I answered Yes to one-and-a-half of the questions.
Honestly, it's not easy being here. I have such a hard time with figuring out the things I need and the things I want. I cannot understand how I always end up in a place with cold weather when I know I absolutely dread it. I miss having friends within, at the very most, a 15 minute walk/drive from me.

But I am right where I need to be and I'm giving it my all.

The Answer Must Be In the Attempt

For some reason, I've been thinking about the movie Before Sunrise for the past couple of days. This clip has to be my favorite part of the movie.

But isn't everything we do in life only to be loved and then more?

About a year ago I posted Celine's monologue here.
Maybe this time of year has me thinking about this kind of stuff..
the stuff where Love, Responsibility, Future, and God intersect.

Really? It's not the weekend yet?

So the past week has been rough..
.. from losing 14 hours of hard work on a presentation, very long nights at the office, losing my main prospect for a job, & minor health issues.
& rough weeks aren't complete without the usual cherry on top situations like waking up late, walking into walls, tripping, forgetting your phone and wallet in one day (leaving you stranded).

Christine Hassler wrote a blog for Huffington Post. 

Are You Having a Quarterlife Crisis?
It seems pretty silly to think that I could be having a crisis. I did answer "Yes" to most of those questions.. but I also know I could have answered "Yes" to even more of those questions when I was ten. No lie. Sometimes, I can be an overachieving mess.
I'm not having a crisis and this is not me trying to convince myself that I'm not having a crisis either.

But not all is bad, right? I've been through worse. I'm over anxiety attacks and emotional breakdowns anyway.
I can find solace in the decent weather, acts of kindness from strangers, good news for & from friends, constant support from my family and my efforts don't go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Also, I really think God is saying, "It'll Be OK," when I put my iPod on shuffle & three of my favorite songs play back-to-back. So I know I'll be more than OK.

Internship : Save the Children

It seems silly that I haven't talked about my internship considering I let it consume a lot of me..

It hasn't quite been a month yet that I've been interning at Save the Children. It is a 501(c)3 non-profit.. generally my favorite. I am in the Washington D.C. office which buzzes nicely in the nation's political center. We also aren't terribly far from the headquarters in Westport, Connecticut.

Save the Children's mission is to create lasting change for children in need in the United States and around the world. With that being said, Save serves over tens of thousands of children all over the U.S. and over 48 million children in over 50 countries. Their work range from education, maternal & infant mortality, food security, health, and beyond.. all while working to be intentional and innovative in the ways it attempts to create positive impacts in children's lives.

I am their Public Affairs and Communication Intern. Among other things, my main responsibility is collecting all their media mentions. So I get to read the news, see what the organization is doing, and read about some of the amazing (and sometimes not so amazing) things going on in the world. It has to be one of the easiest ways to learn about what the organization does & what current events effect children & the organization's programming.

I don't know where to start about how excited I am to be there. Even after my time at JumpStart, I am still self-conscious about working with children but I think this distant, behind-the-scene work suites me well.
A fault of mine is that I easily get wrapped up in tasks and to-do lists.. a robot of sorts. But at the end of the day, I always feel inspired. I'm brought back to the mission, its values, and the potential they're constantly pushing at to ensure better lives & futures for children around the world.

Here are some of the corporate campaigns and partnering:
Frigidaire, Intel & this has to be my ultimate favorite, Bulgari. I can write a lengthy entry about this, but you should just check out the Bulgari's Anniversary site & auction for the event in December.

even Barbie thinks Save the Children is amazing!

But these campaigns are not the only reason why Save the Children has been successful, it's through the dedication, perserverance and extremely hard work individuals put into making children rights a priority.



& oh hey! follow us on Twitter & Facebook!!

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Danica Iglopas.

Travel Love.

I'm getting this restless feeling of travel again. I know I just moved and I still get to look at this place as a travel destination in itself. But I'm not talking about uprooting myself & resettling; I'm just looking for a different type of adventure.

It's this unsettling, longing feeling that dances at the bottom of your heart. I end up having dreams of desired destinations. I start studying and exploring favorite foods, books and music. All your senses are heightened when you hear its name and yet you're distracted by quick flashes of fleeting thoughts. Everything seems to make sense when you run into an opportunity to be closer to the destination, as if you were meant to find it and it was meant to find you; it's the world coming together! This feeling, it's not something that can be helped; it's something that just lingers in everything you say, do, and want.

I wonder if this is love..
or at least the precursor to it.

Pakistan & Afghanistan has been on my mind a lot lately.
Also more of India.

Moved In.

I'm finally moved into my apartment for the duration of my internship.  I'm staying at the Fenestra Apartments which is conveniently located in a town square in Rockville, Maryland.  I won't lie, it's a pretty bomb living situation. Very chic..

2 bdrm, 2 bthrm; fully furnished; cable; internet access; gym; pool..

Literally on the same block or around the corner from all your needs (grocery stores, banks, metro station) & your other recreational pleasures (shopping outlets, restaurants, bars theaters, gym, & more) & right across the street is a library!! 

To be honest, I can see why my family & I had to struggle to pay the pretty penny for this living situation.  But, I feel quite uncomfortable living in such a nice area mostly because it's  well beyond my means of living.  Don't get me wrong, I can see myself living in an area like this.. but not right now.  Right place, wrong time? Definitely.  

Degree: Hard-Knock Living

Minor: Reality

I guess I'll be working on my minor for now.. 

I definitely won't be taking this for granted..

pictures later..

changes

we are writing down days when bills need to be paid, sending emails to old friends, wondering if we'll receive our checks in time, choosing between job benefits or companies that align with our beliefs, getting excited about new office supplies, keeping track of our professional image, worrying about whether we'll be the other woman or if that even matters. we're trying to figure out if we're growing apart or growing together.. or if we're growing at all. 

mostly battling between what feels right & what is practical. 

image via ffffound

but i'm turning 22 & most days i feel like finding what dress to wear is still the biggest problem in my life.

so maybe things are a little more complicated then i'd like for them to be. but, i still get excited about ice cream, laughter is still always the best medicine. i still love watching animated movies, i will always have my best friend, my family still drives me insane, sun rises & sun sets are always so beautiful, i still cry at the end of Titanic, i still giggle when i talk about boys, i still have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning & love is always amazing. 

i'm leaving home in 22 days. i usually don't count down, but this time feels different. i don't know what different means just yet. i'll save that for another post.

so when i'm in the midst of change & i'm feeling scared & apprehensive.. i know there are some things that never change & i can find comfort and familiarity every where i go. 

Fred Forever

e.e. cummings

On Boys with Girlfriends

Aside from it being complicated, some boys need to grow some balls & some girls need to get over their insecurities. 

I mean this is just one perspective.. 

I suppose.

".. she can kiss my ass, alright!"

on being sick & microblogging!

i've been in bed for the past couple of days. fighting off what seems to be the worst cough that has hit my immune system. while usually i will just brush it off & continue to gallivant, i am taking it quite seriously now & staying indoors. 

i feel kind of lonely, actually. but i honestly feel too weak to call anyone over to entertain me, in all likelihood it would really just be friends watching me lay under my blanket & watch me attempt to hack up a lung.  plus, it would suck to have to get someone else sick. 

& on this microblogging thing. i've been trying to fight it for so long & creating a twitter appeals the very least to me. not to mention, i can't imagine anyone wanting to know what i'm doing/thinking at least every four hours.  

also, a guilty pleasure of mine is style, everything good and evil of it.  & i don't want to use this blog as a way to post up pictures of my material-lusts.. call me shallow.. but that's what guilty pleasures are. sigh.

so i've given in: i've gotten a tumblr. 

& i can't help but be so excited :)

Real Limit

How many people can you love before it's too much? she said
& I said I didn't think there was any real limit as long as you didn't care if they loved you back.

B. Andreas

On Coming Back.

I feel like Life paused Me while letting everything continue. Life, then, pushed play on Me after four years. So while some things have been rearranged, I'm scrambling in all the same places.

family & lots of it.

There's nothing like family.  I can't imagine what my life would be like if I didn't have my family.  Nuclear, extended, pseudo, etc. 

Less chaotic? Less stress? More self-esteem? More quiet?

Probably.

Probably not enough love or support.

Not enough laughter, not enough joy. 

Seattle, Washington

Raleigh, North Carolina

Centreville, Virginia

Los Angeles, California

Portland, Oregon

They're everywhere!! 

So, as I'm traveling from place to place, driving hours upon hours, hopping from plane to plane, I'm constantly reminded that these are rare days.  The arguments, short-fuses, yelling, annoyances, tears aren't forever, neither are the my sides are hurting laughter, the pranks, the silly jokes, the pinching of the cheeks, and subtle affirmations. 

pictures later :)

game face : ON

negatives:

1. drinking way too much red bull

2. still haven't started research or writing a 10-12 page paper due friday

3. at the 20 page requirement but no where near done with putting in the information and analysis;  possible 25+ pages

positives:

1. feeling a lot of love & support from friends

2. won't have to be responsible for paying july's rent

3. i came here with a plan & i'm making it happen

I Shall Believe

not everything is going to be the way you think it ought to be

it seems like every time i try to make it right it all comes down on me

God, Please Say Honestly You Won't Give Up On Me

but I Shall Believe

took the midnight train going everywhere..

I know I said I would blog "every day until graduation."  Clearly I failed at that.  I started writing one yesterday but then I was gladly interrupted by a friend who brought me beer and good conversation. Then I started writing another one at 3AM after a night out.  I'll save you from the words that I wrote but here's a little of what I was going to post at 3AM: 

K. said if I need to feel inspired, watch this :)

Sometimes, it can't be helped to feel joy when breaking out into a song & dance number when walking with good friends. 

College Classes: One thing I get to cross off my list.

3 negatives:

1. Again, petty co-workers. If there was a level below petty, they'd be there.

2. I got my test back & didn't do as well as I expected.

3. I don't have any clean clothes to wear.

3 positives:

1. G. made me lunch & a drink before class today.  It was quite amazing.

2. My family comes in 7 days.

3. I had dinner with M. & C. after having a rough meeting.  

It just hit me, today was my last day of classes for college.  I didn't even see it coming.  Because I'm feeling very overwhelmed about the things that need to get done, I cannot get in the right mindset to feel bittersweet about it.  I do not like this feeling at all.  College classes is such a unique forum where people from different backgrounds with different opinions, goals, hopes & dreams can come together to discuss intelligent (or even pseudo-intelligent) stuff.  I won't have that any more.  Even as I'm typing this, I am still feeling only overwhelmed.

A. & G. were talking yesterday of how they will miss college.  All they said was so true and so real. I know I will too. But right now, I can't focus on the great things college has/d to offer me.  All I have are tasks that need to be completed, a to-do list of many sorts, and motions to go through. 

I know that I have made a very conscious effort to enjoy every moment (including the difficult ones) but what scares me is that at the end, I won't know where the time has gone.  All ending as abruptly as I walked out of my last college class and not even realize it until hours later. I am not transitioning out of college.  I feel like I am practically kicking myself out.

I had my last meeting for JumpStart today.  Didn't see that one coming either.

oh Sinfest

This is what I wish finals week my life looked like..

YEP.

I'm going to blog everyday until I'm done with college which is in twelve days. They call this procrastination. 

I will start off with 3 negatives of the day:

1. My coworkers are really petty.

2. My land lord is a douche bag.

3. I still have so much I need to do.

3 positives:

1. I woke up on time.

2. It was my unofficial last day at work today.

3. I got to print out over 50 pages of research without any cost to me. 

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because my phone alerts me, basically screaming (or vibrating): YOU HAVE MAIL from Story People & Daily Guru Quotes!!!

& I really like it.  I feel like the world is telling me that even as I sleep, it is sending me good vibes.

Here is the Quote for the day:

The purpose of relationships is not happiness, but transformation.

~Andrew Schneider

attempting to stay focused? fail.

I don't think I'm mentally or emotionally prepared for anything right now. College is about to end, I need to stay focused on deadlines & papers, start packing up, tying loose ends, prepare for my family's arrival (& energy), etc. 

Staying focused on school is my number one priority. Right now, I'm pretty much failing at it. Miserably. But that's alright, because I'm blessed with good company to fail along with me :)

I'm trying to think of clever and witty things to say about some things I've been up to lately. But I can't. Instead, here you go:

this is only a little of what Seattle spring can offer you

this is what best friends since the 5th grade looks like

this is what drinking 40s in the Law School looks like

this is what I'm hoping tonight will look like

P.S. you should watch UP :)

one of those days

some days, i feel sad

i just woke up feeling this way

just one of those days

I can't help it.

Some things about me:

1. I am a closeted romantic.

2. I have a serious friend crush on Michelle Obama. 

3. My dream job would be the First Lady of the United States.

Mr. & Mrs. Barack Obama

courtesy of GangstaBride

"The Most Beautiful Heart"

This weekend was full of light, laughter, and love. 

I heard this over the weekend & thought I'd share.  

The Most Beautiful Heart
By Author Unknown

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.
A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

The people stared  "How can he say his heart is more beautiful?" they thought.
The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared."

"Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"
The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks.

He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.

They embraced and walked away side by side.

Spread Them!

You can't be a bitter old wo/man in a world like this.
There's just too much love around :)

Doesn't sound like fun

Storypeople of the Day:

When do you get to be a grown up? she said.  When you read & write & lie without laughing, I said & her eyes got big & she said she didn't know it was that hard.

~B. Andreas

Maybe being grown up isn't at all that its cracked up to be.

I love laughing. Maybe I just won't grow up. 

... where the heart is

Some days, home feels further away than others... 

6,000+ miles or not

This is how we say

Good Morning

Buenas Dias

Hello

Hafa Adai

Good Afternoon

Buenas Tatedes

Good Evening

Buenas Noches

and until tomorrow

esta agupa...

I'm wondering...

I'm in class right now... clearly distracted...

I can't help but think about all the things I want to do in my life. 

travel across the world, live abroad, make my own home, see new things, meet new people, keep old people in my life, have a family, read lots of books, change the world, learn yoga, etc. etc. etc.

But...

What is it I'm meant to do with my life?

Life is a little scary. 

Spring Break

I spent Spring Break in Los Angeles & Vegas.  It was wonderful, restful, & filled with good moments.  I spent it with new & old friends, in the sun, eating a lot, reading, & in the car... a lot.  So to the people who helped me fill in my Spring Break, infinite thanks! 

It was what I needed:)

Venice. 

Looking out from inside.

Venice Beach. 

I bet he's been on a lot of adventures in his long life. 

He's retired now & likes to take long walks on the beach.

He seemed like a George to me.

Santa Monica Pier. 

Beautiful Day.

Mt. Shasta.  

Road to North.

Las Vegas. 

It was windy this night but was welcomed brightly. 

New York New York. 

I got lucky on this shot; images were going very quickly. 

It was a Spring Break Escape.

MGM. RAWR. 

I have this theory, that because his exterior is some sort of bronze metal

that his heart is actually made out of gold.

I bet he's actually a sweetheart stuck in a city of sinners. 

The Cupcakery Goodness. 

We celebrated a friend's birthday! 

Parking Lot Night. 

We got bubble tea, sat out in a parking lot, took pictures, & laughed. a lot. 

4AM. 

We played Cranium, sculpted & laughed.

April Fool's Day

There are too many things to write about that I'm feeling a little overwhelmed about all the possibilities. I'm actually just feeling overwhelmed. Completely. 

It's snowing in Seattle...

So much for "April showers bring May flowers."

April snow brings May glow...?

I was never a poet.

But so you come out of this with a little bit of something, here is a picture of our April Fool's prank on our supervisor

dixie cups filled with water & 

saran wrapping her computer & office entrance

This Type of Love

This type of love doesn't sound so bad..

a not bad at all type of love..

Making my bed

For the past two years, I have been sleeping on an air mattress. There are several reasons for this.

One of the reasons is that I kept thinking I was only staying at my apartment temporarily, the concept of two years didn't seem like such a long time.
Two years ago this time, I was a sophomore, working at WPC, and training for a half-marathon. I was in the dorms. I had long hair.
Now, I am a senior, working at Public Health & for JumpStart, and should be training for a half-marathon. I am in an apartment. I have short hair.

Two years is quite a while...

Buying a mattress is an investment. It's a commitment.
I think of a mattress the same way I think of a home. It's a place I want to look forward to going to where I can find warmth and comfort. It's a safe place, a haven. It's a place I can cry and laugh. I grow an attachment to it. I care for it and long for it. I can make memories in it. Sharing is at my discretion and I am extremely careful about it. It is mine.

So, my goal for this year:
I will buy myself a mattress.

Spelling

R. sent me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook & it said this:

Piglet: how do you spell love?

Pooh: you don't spell it. you feel it

My mom just texted me:

You know when you talk from your heart.. 

You deliver good words of wisdom..

My mom is definitely crazy but 

She is one of the most beautiful women I know.

Feelings

I am a thinker. It is not uncommon for me to appear emotionally detached or indifferent. Most of my decisions are based off of logic and rationale. I almost envy people who say, "It just feels right." I always say, "It's the right thing to do based on a. b. & c." I find myself going through the list of moods in MySpace and never putting anything because I don't know. While it's not particularly bad, it's not particularly good either. 

They teach you feelings in preschool. Maybe it's because I didn't go to preschool  that I missed out on all that.

So, I am going to teach myself emotions. 

Today, I feel sick. 

You are invisible.

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I can find exactly what I need when I stop looking for it.

example:

I am beautiful; 

I need to stop looking for reasons why that's so.

It isn't a resolution.

It's a lifetime learning process.

I want to learn to love more and better.