Timeless Throwbacks

I went home this past week (watch out for a proper recap on my trip!) & I was on this mission to find some books I wanted to take back with me. So I opened up all these boxes I packed up years ago. & cue: nostalgia!

I found old journals, letters, cards & trinkets written by people who remain in my life & have chaptered out. I never noticed how sentimental I was until I went through all these old things. My 16th birthday sash, notes I passed in high school, spoons from Family Breakfasts with BH & GS, a paper flower from a wedding I crashed with AT, postcards from MAK's time in Mexico & so much more. These little things warped me back in time to those moments.

I read old journals & I scoffed at my cheesiness & immaturity. I pined for old flames, lingered a little at my What If moments, answered & reflected on those open-ended questions, left baffeled at how things all worked out, relived heartbreaks & failures, cowered in my shame, stood by the tough decisions I made, was enthralled by my youthfullness, laughed out loud at those I Can't Believe I Did That & Lived moments..

My mom & I were talking about me leaving & how in it's roundabout way I am getting exactly what I wanted, a chance to travel & see the world. It's funny how that even two years after writing this particular entry I am going where I had dreams of!

In college, we were often thrown this question to us:

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

~Mary Oliver

& I answered it always the same... To live it in...

Love. Compassion. Authenticity.

Tibetan Prayer Flags made with intention & love from my Silent Angel ;) in 2008

What I realized through this stroll down memory lane is that there are certain emotions, experiences & people that remain timeless. There are also very small fleeting moments & transient people, but through our time here they're just as meaningful as the bigger ones. Life really is simple, just never easy. You don't always get what you want but just what you need..

I can feed you more cliches, but I'll leave you with this..

This was my last entry from my journal circa February 2007 to August 2008. No edits, so excuse grammatical errors..

August 23, 2008

"Danica, have faith in yourself, always. Love & be loved & allow yourself room for mistakes. Be forgiving to yourself & others. Love & hate wisely without a blind eye and judge where you see fit but be fair. You are beautiful. The people around you are beautiful. Love & always have faith."

Cool Story, Bro!

... is a saying I picked up from my brother...

... who visited me for two glorious week! I can tell you silly stories of how we had a hysterical laughing fit over Chinese subtitles at 1am or how we mimicked each others laughs while walking down the street or how we had epic jam sessions in the car or how we jumped railings to sit on the ledge by the East River or how we went to the same sushi place over & over again or how we made the Brooklyn Bridge our playground. But as I've learned over time, I suck at recounting stories. Plus, stories like those are a lot like inside jokes, funnier to us than anyone else.

It was unfortunate that I had to work while he visited but he managed to keep himself entertained during the day… napping or on the computer. I felt bad for a while that he wasn’t exploring what the city has to offer, except he was always so content with doing just that. It was so refreshing to be reminded that choosing to do nothing is in fact, doing something. I would come home & we would recap our days & he was always happy with all that he’s done, even if an adventure to him is walking to & from Subway for a lunchtime sandwich. I did force him to do one thing with me everyday though & it was usually walking through a park or going out for dinner.

It was just so much fun being with, not only my brother but, my best friend. The simplicity of our friendship is something you just don’t find very often in life... let alone siblings.

Another highlight of his visit was the mish-mash of people it brought together in which we’ve dubbed the NYCC: the NYC Crew. In what appeared to be a random turn of events of people coming & going in my life, it was perfect timing to have my brother, KLB & TGJ here & leaving all at the same time. I’m always nervous about having people from different parts of my life (family, an old college friend & a new friend, respectively) meet. But something I realized is that when you’re surrounded by amazing people, who do amazing things, pretty amazing things tend to happen. It’s as simple as that.

The bittersweet part of this is that all these amazing people left.

Those two weeks made me realize how much NYC isn’t so much of a home but is still a staging ground for what I’m still hoping to be a home & then there’s that cliché saying of, home is where the heart is. Well it’s hard finding a home when my heart is with too many different people all over the world.

Cheesy, I know… but true story, bro.

No Ordinary Moments

I'm on my way to enjoy a beautiful New York summer day by going on a photo walk. I'm just waiting for my phone to finish charging. In the meantime, I made myself a quick PB&J sandwich, sipping on a beer & I've got my 2011SummerTop40 soundtrack on the background. The only thing that's missing is some good company.

Nevertheless, this moment of content, is something to savor :)

I know this song is old, but I still have it on replay these days. It's such a summer jam & I am in that acoustic mood.