& Here is My New York Edition...

This was my DC edition.

The questions:

Do you love what you're doing?
Do you love where you're at?
Do you love who you're with?

What am I doing? I spend a good portion of my day in an office working with different & often difficult personalities. Each day reminds me of how much the system can be a disservice to us all but also how there are people who are their only barrier. However, I really don't want to limit this answer to what my job is. I cannot let my job define who I am and what I am doing with my life. What I am doing is exploring who I am in the most isolated & independent way I have ever tried. I am creating a home for myself, by myself. I'm stumbling through my own obstacles & overcoming the ones others put before me.

I love where I'm at. New York City has always been a dream of mine. At 13, I first got off a bus onto a bustling street with a twinkle in my eye. Not much has changed ten years later. It's not even New York City that I am in love with, it's Brooklyn. Brooklyn, I feel like it's the place that falls nearly right at the cross section of my current needs & desires. But it's not only about how it's catering to my needs; I can go on about what Brooklyn offers but I think Larry King says it best, "Brooklyn taught survival, not in a morality sense but in a speak-up-for-what-you-want sense. You didn't get far by being shy in that town." That's what I love the most about it. Don't get me wrong, everything that shines ain't always gold (wow, now I'm just stealing lines, credit to Kid Cudi, hah). There are days where I feel exactly like this but I wouldn't be getting the full experience if everything had that twinkle, right?

I've met a character of people here & it's been an adventure getting to know them. But to say that I really know them or even that they know me would be a lie. I think we're no where close to scratching the surface. But also, there are a lot of complexities to getting to know someone & making that judgment call of whether or not you actually like them. Some of those complexities include length of time & consistency & I lack both elements in my social interactions so far here. However, in a city where people are so transient, sometimes all you need is someone's familiar presence & that is something I've been lucky at; lucky enough to find people I can try to build some familiarity with.
It'll never, ever be easy being away from the comfort of family & close friends. I am blessed enough though to at least have my best friend within the same state, hah!

I feel like I'm at the tipping point of all answers. But for right now, that's fine with me.

"In New York, we don't think... We just DO."

Quote courtesy of FA.

From Washington DC, I drove a U-Haul to Brooklyn, NY March 22, 2010. That's about 3 months after I was standing outside my best friend's apartment in Poughkeepsie, NY & I had firmly decided, "I am making a childhood dream happen. I am moving to New York City this year!"

About two months have passed since the move. It has been two months of adventures, new people, new insights, good times and hardships. There's too much of this city I have yet to explore, experience, love & dread. But I've had my fair share of experiences considering my short time here & I am enjoying every minute of it. Even in the midst of confusion & constant noise, I am learning so much & growing from it.

A prominent theme I caught on to: You need a serious ego & backbone to survive here. Survival versus living. Anyone can live in New York City. But this is a city you need to survive in. It will chew you up, swallow, spit you back out & repeat if not proceeded with caution. A constant struggle, sink or swim, do or die, go big or go home... I think all those cliches were born in NYC.. & possibly perfected elsewhere.

Whether you'll survive is grounded in how much you believe in yourself mentally, emotionally, & physically and whether or not you can say yes or no with conviction & I see the difference between surviving & living. If you don't have either, you better start working on it.

But how elitist of me to say all of that! Who am I to say that this only happens in NYC? In a recent e-mail response to some of my observations here a good friend of mine said, "New York may not be built for the weak, but I think simply living is not for the weak." (Thanks for that by the way, BH.)

However, not all my reflections of New York City are based on observation of others. There's been a lot of self-reflection. Whenever someone undergoes any sort of significant change, so many questions arise. Who am I? How do I relate in this world, my surroundings & the people in it? ... Just to name a few.

Lately, I've been taking walks along the Shore Promenade in my neighborhood. They've been quiet, considering. But I've been thinking about the questions, the answers, and the attempts to find both...

... time for another stroll.

3 Questions & Some Answers..

A good friend once shared some insight about how to tell if you're content. It can be gauged by 3 questions.

Do you love what you're doing?
Do you love where you're at?
Do you love who you're with?

If you can answer "Yes" to two out of the three questions, then in general, you're a little more than content with your life.
It's high-stress time for me right now and it makes me think about these things.

I love what I am doing. I love my internship and the little, humbling part I play in the organization. It brings perspective into why I do what I do and why I want to do it. It brings me outside of myself and into the world. But I don't just love the work that I do. I also love what I am doing for myself and the plans I am working hard to make happen. So I love that all the things I am doing brings some balance between what I want to do and what it is I am meant to do.

I am learning to love where I am at. When I first visited Washington DC, I was 13 and it was such an exciting time for me! I was learning the in's and out's of the political buzz. I did another stint in DC when I was 20. That time, I was learning about why American's hate politics. I am back here at 22. This time, I'm learning to love living here, making a life for myself here. I think DC is one learning process at a time for me. Love doesn't always come as easily as we'd like for it. So sometimes, we have to learn these things.

Who I am with.. I suppose this is where it gets tricky. Let me start with this: I am so, very blessed to have family and friends on all sides of the world to be the support system I need and more. Whether they are a 350-mile to an upward 6,000-mile phone call away, I can always count on someone to pick up. But the real question here is, "Do you love who you are with?" As in, physically, alongside, in company of. I try my best to not confuse being alone with loneliness. For the most part, I am good about it. But it does get confusing when you are in desperate need of a hug, a real shoulder to cry on, someone to bake you cupcakes, someone to enjoy gin or vodka tonics with, or someone to not have to worry about awkward silences with.

I suppose I answered Yes to one-and-a-half of the questions.
Honestly, it's not easy being here. I have such a hard time with figuring out the things I need and the things I want. I cannot understand how I always end up in a place with cold weather when I know I absolutely dread it. I miss having friends within, at the very most, a 15 minute walk/drive from me.

But I am right where I need to be and I'm giving it my all.

Moved In.

I'm finally moved into my apartment for the duration of my internship.  I'm staying at the Fenestra Apartments which is conveniently located in a town square in Rockville, Maryland.  I won't lie, it's a pretty bomb living situation. Very chic..

2 bdrm, 2 bthrm; fully furnished; cable; internet access; gym; pool..

Literally on the same block or around the corner from all your needs (grocery stores, banks, metro station) & your other recreational pleasures (shopping outlets, restaurants, bars theaters, gym, & more) & right across the street is a library!! 

To be honest, I can see why my family & I had to struggle to pay the pretty penny for this living situation.  But, I feel quite uncomfortable living in such a nice area mostly because it's  well beyond my means of living.  Don't get me wrong, I can see myself living in an area like this.. but not right now.  Right place, wrong time? Definitely.  

Degree: Hard-Knock Living

Minor: Reality

I guess I'll be working on my minor for now.. 

I definitely won't be taking this for granted..

pictures later..