I can tell you a few key places I would much rather be, accompanied by a select few.. & it tears me apart some nights. I'm affected especially in the mornings, right as I wake up.. A heavy sigh sits on my chest & a few exhales don't relieve it. It sort of just lingers there like a perched bird, wanting to leave but still trying to find the motivation to do so.
I mean, it leaves eventually as the day goes on.. Mostly because I move too quickly for that sorrow to follow me around.
I've always been fearless in a sense & confident in my choices. I am not one to think there is a "golden ticket" that I have (or will) missed out on. I suppose because every opportunity I take is the only ticket there is.. it is THE ticket. Taking me exactly where I need to go.
It's my faith in the unknown; my path of curiosity..
"When I looked at you, my life made sense. Even the bad things made sense. They were necessary to make you possible."
~Jonathan Safran Foer
I am sure that when I look back at this point in my life, everything will make sense.
3 comments:
The Universe is doing that weird wave lengths thing and putting us on the same train.
I've been faced with the same feeling lately and immediately dismiss it for fear that it would turn into some sort of regret for decisions and roads I've been traveling on. And regret is the last thing I want.
It seems that maybe this time in our lives of being young 20-somethings there will never be a clear right or wrong answer or complete confidence in our decisions. We are in this strange area of growing and not yet knowing what being an "adult" is supposed to feel like.
In all honesty though I hope that the unfamiliar scary feelings of not knowing never go away. If we figure out this "life" stuff than there may be nothing left to keep us motivated and driven. What fun would it be if our decisions were always the right ones? :)
We have accomplished and experienced so much in our short 24 years that the only way to cope with this insecure feeling is to keep moving forward: wondering, guessing, and questioning the entire way... because if we figure it all out then really, is there anything left to strive for?
Move forward and onward my friend, knowing that you are an amazing and GOOD person... and someday you will understand.
Alyss!! You're so right.. After writing this I've been thinking a lot about how it's also fear of mine to lose the sense of wonderment we have in the world. The times when you are left amazed or how everything is seen as an adventure to the unknown.. Just the child-like sentiment to life. Because you're right, what else would there be to strive for?
Ahh I miss you so much friend.. I was going through some old college stuff before I left.. & found this paper flower from our wedding-crashing-night! Haha.. It's moments like that, that I miss seeing the world through, carefree, fun & timeless!
I love you. I love Alyss' response too! Funny you post this comic...you shall see when you receive your package!
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