This past weekend someone I casually dated about a year ago texted me. It was so unexpected most especially because I hadn’t spoken or seen him since about this time last year. After our “small talk” over text, he invited me to go out for some drinks with him that night. I was tempted to catch up but then I remembered why he was no longer part of my life. So I politely declined & placed him exactly where he needed to be, in my past. His absence has opened up space for others.
The focus though of this whole reconnection though is not about old flames, but more about time & memories.
It’s birthday season & I’m in that reflection phase of the past year. Recalling who I was then, who I am now & who I will be. This past year (along with most of my others) was a roller coaster filled with emotions, mistakes, triumphs, failures, learning experiences, changes… all still sprinkled with support, friends & family, & blessings all around.
The seasons of this past year are filled with distinct memories. This time last year I was romantically indifferent, sitting on my recruitment process for the NYARNG, itching to go back to school. Fall was filled with an excitement of enlisting & a mistake of an affair that led to my demise. Winter was highlighted by visiting my family, friends leaving, recuperating from a heartbreak & prepping for Basic Combat Training. Spring was spent in South Carolina training, training, training to become a Soldier. Finally, this Summer was spent mainly reevaluating the important things in my life, figuring out the things I need to cut out & add more of, & also being a sitting duck until the next season when bigger things are in store for me.
But I think about all those things that happened, most especially the things I lost sleep over or was a nervous wreck about, & it seems so surreal that they are just things of the past now. My life was engulfed by those moments.
& now, they no longer are.
Now, there are different moments.
Mostly with the same people but with some new characters.
Same setting this time around but different atmosphere.
Different mindset.
So here’s to a new year & all the things it’ll bring my way!
1 comment:
"I remembered why he was no longer part of my life. So I politely declined & placed him exactly where he needed to be, in my past. His absence has opened up space for others. "
Definitely aging beautifully, confidently, and wisely. I love you.
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